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Isabella
I ran into my bedroom and closed the door suit with my back leaning on the door as if I am being chased. I was feeling sort of dazed, and my face was very warm. My lips were tingling where they’d rubbed his and I slowly touched them to see if they were as hot as they felt.
Isabella
The day had passed agonizingly slowly. In the afternoon I’d bathed, dressed, and fixed my hair. Then I spent the next three hours pacing around the kitchen and living room wishing Chris would get back. I finally couldn’t stand it anymore and went upstairs. Not much later I thought I heard voices and made my way back into the kitchen for a drink of water.
Isabella
I cozily stretched in bed and wished I never had to get up. The clock on the nightstand said 6:45 AM. If I wanted to be in time for breakfast I would have to get moving into the shower.
Chris
My hands trembled on her bare back.
What the fuck is wrong with you? I screamed. Get a grip!
When I’d seen her standing there in that dress…
I almost passed out.
So yay another update, finally!
One quick note in advance; as a writer and reader of many novels/romans, I know the great importance of being able to actually visualize everything concerning the storyline.
And that’s why I try to explain/write scenario’s as detailed as possible. However to make, in this case, the characters easier to visualize I thought it be nice to add some pictures everytime.
Have been getting requests of making manips aswell but i’m not that skilled with PS. Any Chrianna’s offering their services?
Chris
I pinched the bridge of my nose while the disgustingly cheerful woman showed us some petty legal documents and other crap. I wished she would just spill the unfortunate news to the poor girl slouching in her chair across the table from me. She talked for about ten minutes before finally turning to the child.
Isabella
I heaved a sigh and covered my sore eyelids which were red, puffy and thickly swollen. Everything ached, my nose ached, my throat burned, my stomach was churning again… I peered between my fingers at the digital alarm clock on the nightstand. The red illuminated numbers read 10:15.
Shit.
IT’S FRIDAY FRIDAY GOTTA UPDATE ON FRIDAY!!
——————————————————————————————————-
I sat reading the words aloud, fresh tears in my eyes as I let the final words of the book resound through the room.
“And in the end, she had gone from a prostitute, straight into his arms. She was safe; she was loved, and she was finally home. “
Kaela’s POV
The nurse stared up at Chris, threw an apprehensive glance to me, and then returned to look Chris in the eyes.
“I’m really sorry Mr. Brown-“
I didn’t really know what happened to me in that moment, but it felt as if something inside my brain had torn.
“Bring her back,” I whispered as everyone turned and glanced at me with pitiful eyes, “Bring her back!” I screamed to them.
“Judy, finish preparing the needle, her body is under too much stress.”
“She said she was waiting for me, she can’t be-!”
“Kaela,” Chris said, turning to face me. I looked up at him, and not until I noticed the tears in his eyes did my body feel the pain. Not until I saw the agony in Chris’ eyes did I scream out in shock and misery.
My heart was beating so fast and loud, my breathing came in short gasps, and I was hyperventilating because this couldn’t be happening to me again.
She couldn’t be dead. This couldn’t be my fault.
This couldn’t- This couldn’t-
“No!” I screamed, as the nurse came towards me with the needle, “Don’t touch me!” I yelled as I pushed her into the tray of supplies.
I had killed her.
“Ms. Anderson!”
“That’s not my name!” I roared, with tears streaming down my eyes, “That’s not my fucking name!” I pulled the wires, that hooked up to my arms, off and threw myself out of the bed.
This was all my fault.
I killed her. I killed Monica. And I had killed my parents, my family.
I didn’t look, I just ran. I didn’t hear the shouts behind me, didn’t feel the floor beneath my feet. I just felt the burning in my lungs. The tearing of the muscles in my legs. The collasping of my ribs into my heart. I didn’t see the steps I climbed, didn’t feel the pain as I tripped and fell, breathing hard, sobbing and collapsing, crawling.
Screaming and running; crying and clawing at my skin because of how dirty I was.
For sleeping with hundreds of different men. For giving my virginity to the teacher who was fucking my roommate. For making my parents drive up to get me from college because I was a sick fuck. For driving directly into the truck and killing them.
Monica, and Natalie.
Mom and Dad.
For rolling in their blood.
I could hear them crying behind me. Screaming for me to help them, but I couldn’t. Because I was the one who killed them.
Through the door, I felt the rain pelting across my skin, across my bruised skin, covered in bandages stained red. I saw the edge of the building, heard the screaming behind me telling me to do it.
To pay for everything I had ever done in life.
Every person I had killed, every life I had destroyed with my selfishness.
I didn’t deserve to live, yet I succeeded in robbing people from their lives who actually did deserve to live.
I screamed out of my chest, spitting up my own blood onto the ground and crying out as the pain of everything set in. There was rain and blood all around my battered body, and my vision was spinning. My heart was giving out, beating to some convoluted rhythm, trying it’s best to pump blood to my body and failing miserably in its fragile attempts. My head pounding from the lack of oxygen flowing to my brain. My muscles tearing from the edges of broken bones ripping through them.
There were people yelling my name, but I was so close to the edge. So close to saying sorry to Monica. To tell her how much I loved her; to tell her how I wished it was me instead of her.
“Kill me!” I yelled up to the sky, searching for god in the clouds. Begging just to see him so that I could know if he existed. So I could ask him why he let me be, if this is all he meant for my life to become.
Why let me survive the first time just for me to get a chance to kill another person? “Why!” I sobbed hoping he would hear my shrieks. “Give them back,” my body racked as my broken ribs stabbed into my flesh, “Take me instead!”
I couldn’t move my body anymore. It wouldn’t move; not even just the couple feet to ending it all. I didn’t have the strength to move my fucking body.
I hated myself as I sobbed. I hated myself more than anything in the world. Loathing, and apalled by the hair in my face, the blood on my lips, the heart in my chest that kept on beating, no matter what I did.
I was supposed to die.
I couldn’t keep the screams of pain from scraping out of my throat.
I couldn’t do anything.
I couldn’t bring them back, and I couldn’t even kill myself.
“Kaela!” a figure that I could barely make out as Chris yelled, running towards me. I didn’t want him near me. Not when I was so dirty. I sobbed as my vision swam, only thinking that I had been so close to making up for everything I had ever done to him.
I felt the stab of a needle in my back, as I fell forward convulsing on the roof of the hospital. I had been so close.
“I should’ve died!” I screamed out in agony as my vision faded to black.
Why didn’t I ever just die?
“I’m Linda Castillo, here, on scene at Cedars Sinai hospital in LA, where I have just gotten news that Monica Brown has passed away. Yesterday at around 4 in the afternoon, we heard news about the car accident that Kaela Anderson and Ms. Brown had gotten into. Both had been in critical condition, and unfortunately, Ms. Brown passed away around 9 am this morning. Word about Ms. Anderson has yet to reach us, but even with the recent scandal that hit the media, I’m sure we are all keeping Ms. Anderson in our prayers.”
“Mom?”
“Yes, Justin?”
“Do you think-do you think that maybe I can call Kaela, mommy, too?”
“Of course you can Justin.”
“Do you think she’ll wake up if I read her story?”
“I-I don’t know sweetheart.”
“She used to wake up at night and sleep with me everytime I cried, mom. Do you think she’ll wake up if she hears me crying? She hates it when I cry, b-but do you think she’ll wake up, mom? I-I w-want her to w-wake up now, mom.”
“Shh, don’t cry, Justin. Don’t cry.”
LA Post
April 21, 2012
He’s been captured!
“The gunman at the scene of the car crash involving Monica Brown and Kaela Anderson has been caught. Leads have tied him to an underground drug and prostitution trafficker based in southern Los Angelos; the same man who Kaela Anderson had been working under before her escape two years ago. While the police have not yet captured this man, many of his prostitutes and other “employees” have been detained for questioning. As of now the police aren’t giving any indication whether or not they know of his whereabouts…” continued on pg. 83
“Mommy,” I whispered.
“Yes, Kaela?”
“Am I going to get married too?” I smiled, as she tucked me into bed, “Just like you and daddy?”
“Of course you will, sweetheart.”
“To who?”
She laughed before kissing me on my forehead and replying, “To an angel.”
“An angel?” I gasped, “So he’s going to be perfect?”
“Of course he will.”
“Like a prince?”
“Even better!”
“And he’ll love me forever?”
“And ever and ever and ever,” she laughed, “no matter what!”
“Wow,” I gasped. “I can’t wait!”
She smiled down at me before saying, “I’m not ready to share you yet. You’ve got a couple more years of my lousy love.”
“I’ll always have your love mommy!”
“You got it, munchkin. Goodnight.”
“Sweet dreams, mommy.”
I opened my eyes to a dark room and beeping noise. It only took me a couples minutes of disorientation to realize what was going on.
I was still alive and to my surprise there was Chris sitting in the corner of the room, fast asleep, with a frown etched into his face.
Still waiting for me to wake up.
After everything I had done to him, there he was sitting in a corner, waiting for me to wake up.
I was too tired to move. To speak, to cry, or scream. I didn’t know if it was because they had pumped me up on morphine or if my body had just decided to give out.
I didn’t care.
I saw Chris’ body shift and his eyes slowly open to meet mine, first in shock and then in sadness. We sat there staring at each other silently.
Dull brown to bright brown.
Neither of us spoke. There was nothing we could say.
All the sadness, guilt, hurt, despair, love, longing, yearning, and pain passed through our eyes at that moment.
He slowly stood and walked over to my beside before gently brushing my hair away. He then let his fingers glide across the skin on my face; touching my eyes, and then my cheeks only to stop at my lips.
“You’re all that I have left, Kaela,” he whispered with a hoarse voice, “Please don’t leave me again.”
I didn’t have the strength to cry, but tears still slid down my face. I didn’t deserve him. I didn’t deserve anything that he gave to me.
But he deserved the world.
Chris deserved everything he wanted and more, so I closed my eyes and nodded.
Because I loved him so much it hurt.
And so did he.
———————————————————-
And it’s a wrap!
It took me long fucking enough, sorry for that!
I love you guys, the epilogue will soon follow, and for everyone who followed, read and always reviewed/replied to my story THANK YOU SO MUCH!
I really enjoyed writing this story and the feedback I got for this story made me enjoy it even more, I really appreciate each and every one of my readers and I hope y’all will continue reading my future stories.
Bless you all, much love.
X.
Coco.
Kaela’s POV
“Monica, what if someone gets hurt because of me?” I whispered to her in the car, “I don’t think I could live with that.”
“Kaela,” Monica assured, “I can’t promise that no one’s going to get hurt. I can’t tell the future, Kaela, but I can tell you that everything happens for a reason.”
“Monica, that’s not reassuring!”
“It wasn’t meant to be. Kaela, you were put in our lives for a reason; you were put in my life for a reason. You’re not just the friend I like to take shopping with me-you’re the little sister I never had, Kaela. I care about you, and my brother loves you, and the truth is, you belong here with us. With him at the very least.”
If I were to trust my gut I would have bolted at that moment. But in my mind Monica’s words could never be wrong, so I sat back and tried to relax.
I thought about Chris. I thought about waking up in his arms every morning for the rest of my life and of feeling warm and safe.
“Hungry? ” Monica laughed as my stomach grumbled. If anyone asked, I wouldn’t have been able to tell them the last time I ate. With everything going on, all the stress I was feeling, food had been the least of my worries.
“A little,” I answered.
“Are you in the mood for pizza?”
“I’ll only eat pizza from one place in LA,” I smiled, remembering the day I had met Justin or should I say, Lucky, as if it was yesterday and not almost two years ago.
“Lead the way!” Monica smiled.
“We really don’t have-“
“Jesus, what a kill joy you’ve become!” Monica exclaimed, exasperated.
I sighed, looking at her pouting face before saying, “Make a left here.”
“Here you go,” Monica breathed as she opened the door quickly, in an attempt to get out of the sudden downpour of rain.
“It’s raining cats and dogs out there,” I joked.
“Tell me about it,” she laughed, “I’m soaking wet—and not in a good way!”
“Monica!” I laughed.
“Oh shut it up, and eat your pizza,” She said while she started the ignition. “I’m going to call Chris and let him know what’s going on.”
My heart sped up when she said his name, an obvious reminder of my anxiousness to see him again.
“Well hello to you too, brother.” I heard Monica laugh into the phone, indicating that Chris was probably not in a good mood.
“I guess, some people weren’t too happy with your press conference huh?” she said, as a wave of guilt flooded through my chest, “Well cheer up little brother, I’ve got a surprise for you!”
She paused for a second, before winking at me and saying, “Well, I guess I’ll take Kaela back to my house then!”
His response caused her to break out into laughter, yet again, ”Long story short, your ex-slut Julia was blackmailing Kaela here with that press leak. Oh and her old pimp, is trying to kill her. And little Kaela here thought she could be a martyr and go down in flames all by herself. But of course, I’m amazing and I got her before she went off and-“
The blaring of my cellphone distracted me from Monica’s conversation with Chris. I shuffled through my bag for it, before sliding the bar to answer, figuring it was probably a worried Trey wondering how I was.
“Hello,” I answered quickly, glancing over at Monica to see her chatting away animatedly into the phone.
“Time’s up sweetheart.”
I dropped my phone into my lap, as my heart froze in my chest.
”-I’m only 15 minutes from your house, Chris. Take a chill-“
Everything happened so fast after that. The rain was pounding against the windshield, my heart palpitating louder than any other sound around me, until I heard the sound of the bullets impact on the windshield which was sent, shattering into us.
A blood curdling scream echoed throughout the air, and I didn’t know if it was coming from Monica or me, or a combination of both of our horrors. The rain and glass all filtered into the car, soaking me as it did, and imbedding shards of glass into my skin. All around us I could hear the horns and horrified shrieking of the people on the streets around us.
Another bullet was shot through the back window, as Monica stepped on the pedal and accelerated the car forward in an attempt to get away from whoever was pursuing us.
“Kaela are you alright?” She screamed, as I stared into her bleeding face.
I wasn’t breathing.
And as if I was reliving a scene from my life all over, I saw the blaring lights from the truck in front of us but couldn’t say a word.
I heard my mom yell and my sister cry out as my dad swerved in an attempt to avoid the collision. I felt the car flip over, and my breast bone crack from the force of the seatbelt around me, before the momentum threw me back.
And then the world was black.
“We don’t know.”
We don’t know what?
I looked around, confused, holding my head from the burst of pain it took to move.
“Don’t hurt yourself now,” Monica laughed, holding her hand out to me.
“What happened to us?” I moaned, “All I remember is the car and—Jesus, someone tried to kill us!”
“How are you feeling?” Monica whispered bending down next to me.
“Like shit,” I cried, “I feel like my entire body is broken, and my eyes are so heavy.”
“So close them,” I heard a voice behind me, as I turned around only to see my sister Natalie beckoning to me, “If you’re tired, close your eyes.”
“Kaela,” Monica whispered, “Don’t close them yet. Not yet. We’re waiting for you.”
“Waiting for what, Monica?” I questioned while her face suddenly contorted in pain, “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine, Kaela.” She smiled, as I looked from her to my sister who also had a similar smile adorning her face. “Just don’t close your eyes.”
“Open your eyes, Kaela!”
Chris’ POV
What would I do without them?
How could I live?
I looked down at the crying Justin next to me, and watched as Lucille, stroked his hair. Then suddenly, as if he were a lightening bolt, Justin jumped from her arms in the direction of Kaela lying in the bed.
“Justin-!” Lucille called out to him, while removing her bag and his blankets from her lap.
“Kaela, open your eyes, please,” Justin cried, shaking her arm, “Open your eyes, Kaela!”
“Justin, stop that!” Lucille scolded while swooping him into her arms, as his tears dripped from his face onto the bed.
Through Justin’s screaming, I had almost missed the beeping of the heart monitor, but when it made another noise, I jumped from my seat and rushed to the bed as nurses and doctors swarmed into the room.
“Clear the room,” the doctor yelled.
“What’s going on?” I questioned, ” Is she waking up?”
Lucille, had already been pulled out of the room with the crying Justin, but I wasn’t going to leave until I knew what was going on.
“Tell me what’s happening!” I demanded, as three nurses pulled on my arms.
I heard the groan come from the bed, and didn’t hesitate before throwing the nurses off my arm and rushing to the side.
The onslaught of emotions and pure relief I felt as her eyes opened was un paralleled by anything I had ever experienced in my life.
“Chris,” She chocked as I fell to my knees beside her bed.
I didn’t know what to say, or how to feel. I had just spent the past 24 hours thinking she would never wake up. And here she was, awake, still beautiful lying in this hospital bed alive.
“Mr. Brown-“
“I’m not leaving this fucking room.” I said with a cutting ice in my voice that I’m sure the doctors felt, because they didn’t press the issue.
“Where am I?” she groaned, trying to sit up, “Where’s Monica? We were driving and-“
“Shh,” I said gently grabbing her hand. “You’re in the hospital.”
“Hospital,” she cried, looking around. “I hate hospitals, I don’t want to be here. Where’s Monica? Christopher, where’s Monica?”
I felt a certain stabbing in my chest, at the mention of Monica’s name. I didn’t know how she was doing. The doctors hadn’t told me anything yet, besides the fact that was under intensive care and in critical condition and they wouldn’t even let me get near her room.
“Ms. Anderson, you need to calm down before you send your body into shock.”
“I don’t want to be here,” she cried, murmuring.
“It’s okay, Kaela. I’m here,” I said grasping her hands, tightly this time, afraid that she would disappear any moment again, “Lucille, Justin, Trey and Moe are all waiting outside for you. You’re safe.”
“What about Monica? She said she was waiting! Where is she?”
I looked at Kaela confused.
“I think she’s suffering from too much mental stress,” the doctor said while examining her, “She needs rest.”
“Just a little more time,” I whispered, not ready to let her go just yet.
“No,” the doctor said sternly, “Do you want her alive and well?”
I gave the doctor a scathing look, for asking me such a stupid question. Of course, I wanted her alive and well. I wanted her alive and well, now. I had waited too long for this. Worried for too fucking long for someone to ask me a question like that.
“Step aside and let me do my job.”
I removed myself from her bedside and stared at the weak and helpless side of Kaela I had never seen before. Her eyes looked so unbelievably scared, and I had to physically force myself to move my body just a couple of steps away from her.
I stared as the doctors and nurses prepared the needle but was distracted when the door opened up to reveal another nurse.
She looked directly at me before asking, “Are you the brother of the patient, Monica Brown?”
“Yes I am,” I said as the doctor and nurses in the room, all stopped moving briefly.
All I could hear was my heart pounding in my chest, contrasted by the deafening silence in the room as she looked up into my eyes.
——————————————————
I hate it too, please don’t go there, I don’t wanna go there, we should never go there :( At least they’re re-united again….
Let it be beautiful.
Next chapter will be the finalé.
Oh and the epilogue :) I love y’all!
PS: Diyann you better not show up in my mentions this time cause…..
Kaela’s POV
I looked through the window of the bus I was currently sitting on and looked back at the life I was leaving behind. I was leaving the one place I had ever found a home.
The one place where I had discovered myself.
The friends I had made, the relationships I had built, and the one person who had ever truly loved me. I was letting all of that go to save a person who probably wouldn’t be able to live without all the people she was leaving behind.
I wanted to protect them, that I knew. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to any of them, but I wouldn’t be able to live without them either.
Monica was the best friend a person could have. She made me believe that she could do anything; even save a person like me. As if she was a fairy godmother in a movie or Glinda the Good Witch.
But I, of all people, knew that life was no fairy tale.
Then why did I want to trust her? Why did I want to take her help?
“Where can I meet you?” I breathed into the phone. I didn’t want to leave, I thought with tears streaming down my face. I didn’t want to let this go.
“Why didn’t you say something, Kaela? Do you know what you did to Chris!” Monica chimed, sitting at her kitchen table.
“Monica, I did all this for him! I didn’t want anyone to get hurt because of me. And I- I wasn’t going to leave at first, but Julia, she threatened to-“
Monica gasped before I could finish and grabbed my hands in her, “It was her wasn’t it!”
“What?” I questioned, confused from her interruption.
“You haven’t-” she started before her face fell, “You haven’t seen the news have you?”
“No-” I started, wondering why she was bringing it up, “Why, what happened?”
“Kaela,” she started, “Somebody leaked the story of you being a-“
I jumped to my feet as soon as she said it, while my heart began pounding in my chest. This—I couldn’t believe-why would she do this!
I had left!
I had left like she asked me to! I had given him to her—how could she-?
“No!” I cried as I slumped against Monica’s kitchen counter. “Why did she-What’s going to happen to Chris? Before everything… I- I told him! I warned him this would happen!”
“Kaela, calm down! Chris will be fine, he couldn’t care less. It’s you I’m worried about.”
“I should go,” I said pacing back and forth, “What am I going to do? He’s going to hate me. He already hates me! Fuck-!”
“Kaela,” Monica yelled grabbing me by my arms, “Have you ever listened to a word that has come from Chris’ mouth? He loves you! Not the fame, not Hollywood, but you! What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you believe that!”
“Everything’s wrong with me Monica” I choked out, staring directly into her eyes,“I’m a wreck without him. I can’t function. I can’t think straight. It kills me every time I see him with Julia. But I know that she’s so much better for him than me. Monica, I love him more than I can handle.”
She walked over to me, before gathering me in her arms, “So does he, Kaela.”
“Please help me.”
“What else am I here for baby gurl?” she laughed.
“Monica,” I whispered while laughing through my tears, “If I wasn’t in love with your brother, I’d be in love with you.”
Chris’ POV
“Mr. Brown is it true that you knew Kaela Anderson was a prostitute?”
“Yes, it is.” I answered calmly, as shocked gasps resounded in the room before the barrage of noise started up again.
“Mr. Brown did you ever pay Kaela Anderson for her services?”
“Do you pay your girlfriend for her services?”
“Is that a yes or a no, Mr. Brown?”
“You can answer for me.”
“Did Ms. Anderson ever blackmail you? Do you believe she is the one that leaked this story?”
“Let me clear this story up right now for all of you. I never paid Kaela for her services. She was never proud of her past and didn’t want to be with me publicly because of it. Not because she was afraid of what you would think of her, but because she was afraid of what would happen to me and my career. But I’d like to make myself very clear; you cannot judge what you do not know.” I paused giving everybody a moment to fully digest the truth.
“While Kaela was with me, she was my girlfriend, not a street walker. What she did in her past has no effect on who she is today. If the world can’t accept the fact that people can change, I wouldn’t be able to care less anyway. Because no matter what the world thinks, it could never change the fact that I loved her for who she was, more than anyone on the other side of the television could understand. You can look down on me, judge me, call me whatever you want, but I’m not looking for acceptance on something that should only concern the people involved.”
That was all I had wanted to say. All anyone needed to hear me say. I loved her, and nothing in the world could have changed the fact; nothing she once did, nothing that the world thought of me, nothing at all.
“Mr. Brown, are you aware that this might negatively affect your career and image?”
“Did I give you the impression I care?”
“What about the children, Mr. Brown?”
That question tugged at my heart. Kids…
Kaela said she wanted a dozen of them…
“Kaela loved kids more than any other woman in the world. Justin adores her, she has been nothing more than an amazing example of what a mother should be like to him. She isn’t promoting prostitution! Not everyone lives in Hollywood, and is as fortunate as you and me. I’m not telling kids to marry a prostitute, I’m telling them that if you love a person, the opinion of the world isn’t important. It’s how you feel that matters. Because in the end of the day, if it’s just the both of you, it’ll be okay. Nobody else matters.” And with that final statement, I walked off stage and ending the press conference amidst a thousand mummers and shouted questions.
I didn’t know where Kaela was, but wherever it was I hoped my words had reached her. Because I had meant every last one of them, and maybe hearing me tell the world would finally convince her that something like this meant nothing to me. I didn’t need the fame, or money. All I had wanted was her.
KAELA
“-Because in the end of the day, if it’s just the both of you, it’ll be okay. Nobody else matters.”
How could I have ever even contemplated living without Chris? I sat staring at the television in Monica’s room with tears streaming down my face while she took a shower. I didn’t know how we could fix this. I didn’t know what we could do about Mr. P, but at this very moment in time, I wanted nothing more than to run to him crying hysterically. I wanted to tell him everything; how sorry I was, and how I never should have tried to do this alone. Because not only was I killing myself, but from the looks of it—I was killing him.
I was killing us.
I knew I had problems trusting people. I knew I tried to do everything on my own, but I wanted to be better. I didn’t want to feel like this anymore.
I knew it was selfish of me to burden other people with my problems, but I was starting to think it wasn’t humanely possible for someone to live without relying on someone. That’s why people fell in love.
And hell if I could deny that I wasn’t in love with Chris since the beginning.
“Ready to go?” Monica smiled, while walking out of her bathroom door.
“Go where?”
“To see my brother, girl stop playin’! God it’s been way too long since you two have had sex!”
“Monica!” I gasped.
“What?” she laughed, “It’s true! We can figure out what to do with your pimp after you two have hot make up sex.”
“Monica,” I sighed at her antics, “We really don’t have time for that…”
“A quickie then!” She winked, pulling me up from my place on the bed. “Leave all the plotting to me, I’ll figure something out, you and Maurice need to make up for lost time.”
I wanted to giggle at her calling him Maurice but my mind was too busy thinking and rejoicing about the fact I’ll be seeing him again.
“I-“
“-will shush, while I take care of everything! I promise you everything will be okay, Kaela. I won’t let anything happen to you or my little bro.”
I looked up into Monica’s eyes and took time to admire her strength. She never talked much about herself but she always threw herself into helping others. The smile that adorned her face, suddenly struck me as being very familiar and within a minute, I realized that my mother used to smile at me the same way when I was a child. A warm, tender smile, with eyes too deep with emotions to understand.
I had never realized how little I knew about Monica until that moment. She was always there to help, but it made me wonder, who was her fairy god mother?
Chris’ POV
“I know, Johnny,” I sighed into the line.
“Chris, they are talking about you all over the news! I swear to god, if you ruin our years of hard work for some fucking chick-“
“Johnny. What part of I don’t give a shit what the world and all of its fuckery around it thinks, don’t you understand?”
“What happened to you, kid. Acting used to be everything to you! You loved the fame, you loved everything about Hollywood!”
“I don’t know, maybe when my ex girlfriend almost killed herself because of this so called ‘fame’. Or even better, when I fell in love with someone who could have ruined all of it. I made my choice, Johnny. It will always be Kaela.”
“Chris, I swear to god-“
“Maybe you shouldn’t.” I said while clicking the phone off and punching the wall in front of me. I had no control of myself. No control of my thoughts, my words, my feelings, my actions.
I was going clinically insane.
I was fine until she decided to breeze by at that party. Why did she have to show up to that fucking party…
My phone rang on the counter beside me and my first guess was that it was Johnny deciding to call me back. I wasn’t going to, but against my better judgment I snatched it up and answered it, “What?”
“Well hello to you too, brother.” I heard Monica laugh on the other end of the line.
“Sorry,” I sighed, “I thought it was someone else.”
“I guess, some people weren’t too happy with your press conference huh?” she laughed, “Well cheer up little brother, I’ve got a surprise for you!”
“Monica, I’m really not in a good mood-“
“Well, I guess I’ll take Kaela back to my house then!”
The fuck. All air left my lungs in one wave.
“What are you-what are you talking about Monica?” I sounded like got damn pussy.
“Long story short, your ex-slut Julia was blackmailing Kaela, hence the press leak. Oh and her old pimp, is trying low-key tryna kill her. And little Kaela here thought she could be a martyr and go down in flames all by herself. But of course, I’m amazing and I got her before she went off and got herself killed. So first things first, I thought a reunion was in order!”
The thoughts that were running through my mind at that moment were too much to process. Fury and rage were certainly my most prominent emotion. Then came a rush of fear, and anxiety for her safety. I wanted her here with me, right now. I didn’t want to wait. I had to be with her- “Where are you guys right now, I’ll meet you half way.”
“So anxious to see her! I’m only 15 minutes from your house, Chris. Take a chill-“ Monica’s words fell short as I heard the screech of tires, and something that sounded like breaking glass. The blood curdling scream that followed after, sent a bone chilling fear down my spine. And I lost it when I heard the sound of an impact or collision.
“Monica!” I yelled, “Monica, fuck, Monica answer me!” I continued yelling into the phone, as I ran outside to my car.
I hung up and pressed a few numbers on my phone in a panicked haste while pulling out of my driveway so fast, I was thrown back into my seat.
“911, what’s your emergency?”
—————————————————————
HO SHIT. HOEMYGAWD. LAWD BE MY FENCE.
To be continued………………. Brace y’all selves for the worst :(
Chris’ POV
I ignored the stares of curious party guest who couldn’t mind their got damn business and followed suit after Kaela. I was hell bent on bringing her back and making her to confess what I knew she was hiding from me.
She had wanted me.
I sat down on the couch with the TV on and bowl of ice cream in my hands. What a stereotypical way to spend my evening.
My eyes were glued to the entering of all the stars and nominees onto the red carpet. I knew who I was waiting to see, even if I didn’t want to admit it to myself and like magic his features graced the screen.
As handsome as ever, in a black tux and beige tie. Hair perfectly laid; just a product of him waking up in the morning and a slight five o clock shadow adorning his chiseled features. I could remember exactly how it felt to run my hand across his face, to tangle them in his curly hair. I could remember exactly how it felt to have his hands around my waist while the photographers snapped away.
But instead of me in his arms, there was Julia, looking as wickedly beautiful as she always did. Wearing a dress, I couldn’t even imagine any male in the world not drooling over her. Never in my life had I felt such an intense sense of jealously in my life. Julia was the woman who baked her cake and got to eat it too.
I shoved a spoon of ice cream into my mouth, while watching them walk down the red carpet. I wanted nothing more than to be there and push her into the back drop. I was supposed to be the one there, next to Chris.
It was supposed to be me.
The clenching in my gut was a feeling that I hadn’t felt in such a long time. It was trying to tell me not to be such a masochistic fuck, and turn off the gotdamn television. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t miss any chance to see Christopher, alive and well. It reminded me of all the reasons I left in the first place.
It was about an hour into the awards before the speakers went up to announce the award for Best Supporting Actress. I had already seen Chris go up for Best Leading Actor and Tom for Best Feature Film of the year. I didn’t know why I was so nervous. What were the chances that I won anyway?
My hand started trembling as I dug into the empty carton of ice cream.
“And the winner of Best Supporting Actress goes to…”
What did an Oscar mean to me anyway?
“-Kaela Anderson!”
My jaw flew open as I stood up in shock.
I had won?
I had won a freaking Oscar! The warmth that I hadn’t felt in my chest in a long time, spread like wild fire. I felt like screaming in joy. I felt like dancing and singing and I did as I looked around the apartment letting my excitement soon die down.
I had no one to hug, no one to call and jump up and down excitedly with. I was alone, in Trey’s apartment on a night where I won an Oscar.
“Kaela, wanted to make sure everyone knew how much she regretted not being here,”
I heard Moe’s voice from the TV screen.
“She wasn’t, um, feeling well. But she wanted me to thank all of her supporters and to say that she couldn’t have gotten this far without her guardian angel. She’s never been more grateful to someone in her entire life and she wanted them to know that.”
Moe smiled, and I stood as still as stone.
I had given her the wrong letter to read. Sighing, I shut the TV off, hoping that Chris wouldn’t catch the meaning behind my words. I had no intention of that being the actual speech read. I should have just ripped it up.
I glanced down at the kitchen counter, while putting my bowl and spoon in the sink. Laying down in front of me, was the invitation to Terrence J’s Oscar After Party. I picked it up and examined it contemplatively.
I thought back to the dress, Moe and Trey had gotten for me after hearing that I had been nominated for an award. It was beautiful and sexy all at the same time.
A deep draping neck line of shining golden fabric that met at my waist to flow into a shimmering train, with a deep cut up my right leg. The back fell dangerously low, all the way to beginning of the curve of my butt and I had been in love with it at first sight. Then I thought about the consequences of actually going to the Oscar’s were and thought better of it.
That had been a month ago, but here I was, staring at the invitation and contemplating whether or not I should go.
It was so insane, that I even dared to think about it. The answer should have been a clear no, as it had been earlier in the day. It was dangerous, reckless and simply stupid and I was bound to go home hurt—but I couldn’t help the fact that both my body and mind were crying and feigning to see Chris again, in the flesh, if even from afar.
I would only stay for a little. I wouldn’t even talk to him. I would be extra careful going back home, so no one would follow me to Trey’s.
I could do that right?
I could do this one thing for myself. Get it out of my system. Because I was sure, once I saw him and Julia together in person, once I saw the look in his eye when he spoke to her, or touched her, I would be able to let go.
Forever.
CHRIS
“-But she wanted me to thank all of her supporters and to say that she couldn’t have gotten this far without her guardian angel. She’s never been more grateful to someone in her entire life and she wanted them to know that.”
I almost wanted to growl in my seat. But instead I clenched my fist.
What the fuck was she trying to pull?
Having me on edge all night, just waiting for her to show up, then this? Sending Moe up to read some bitch ass speech she had, obviously, directly written to me.
Never been more grateful to someone in her entire life? Is that what she thought I wanted? Her gratitude?
Fuck that.
I wanted her, to see her, to hold her, to love her, to fuck the shit out of her.
This time I did growl as I became irritated with the path my thoughts had taken. She had made it very obvious to me that she wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
I hoped she felt free now.
No longer caged by me. Suffocated.
————————————————————-
I stood to the side as Julia chatted in an animated conversation with two directors. I had only been at Terrence’s after party for about an hour, and already I wanted to go home.
Not even the Award I won earlier could lift my mood. Kaela had been all over my thoughts all night and I felt drained.
“-Right, Chris?” Julia questioned, laughing in my direction.
“Yes, of course.” I answered, having fucking idea what I agreed to not caring much anyway. Julia latched onto my arm and leaned her head on my shoulder.
“What a cute picture,” Michael, another colleague in this industry, said with a smirk on his face.
I didn’t respond, instead looking down at Julia who had a bright smile on her face. I didn’t know why she wasted her time on me. She was an attractive woman, and definitely deserved someone who would cherish her.
I had made it blatantly clear to her, that we were not dating, never would be, nor did I have any special feelings towards her. She had said that she didn’t care in the beginning, but the more time we spent together the more I worried about her feelings. Or at least, was aware of the fact that I should worry about her feelings.
When it really came down to it, I didn’t care a lot about anything anymore.
Except work. Work was my safe haven, a place where I could be anyone but myself. Anyone but Chris Brown.
“Baby, dance with me,” Julia said, looking up expectantly at me under her eyelashes. It irritated me sometimes, that she thought she could get what she wanted by doing that.
“I’m not in the mood bae,” I said, sighing, annoyed that I was annoyed with everything Julia did at the moment, when she wasn’t any different than usual.
Kaela was fucking with my mind the whole night.
“Come on,” She whined, playing with my tie.
“Stop.” I deadpanned, as she dropped her hand from my tie. I sighed again before trying to amend, “Look, I’m sorry. I really don’t want to dance, but I’ll make it up to you tonight,” I whispered seductively, grabbing her hands in mine.
“You better,” She said her mouth, sliding into a grin, “I’ll guess I’ll go find some drooling guest to dance with then.”
“Have fun,” I smirked.
“I will,” she said as she sauntered off, purposefully putting an extra ‘umpf’ in her hips.
I was happy for the relief of being alone for a moment. I scanned the crowd and my eyes settled on Tremaine Neverson and Moe Vilio sauntering across the dance floor, laughing. I hadn’t been too surprised of the development. They had dated before, and had only broken up because Moe’s father had demanded her to go to a school abroad.
I remember casually walking by him and asking what was wrong. He had spilled his guts to me after knowing me for about 15 seconds. He was a good guy who always had good intentions.
If he hadn’t been so obviously interested in Kaela, we probably would’ve been better friends. I had been surprised when Moe went up to read for her, but when I thought about it, Kaela broke up with me. Not with everyone else she met while being with me.
“Why are you so anti-social tonight?” Terrence said walking up to me, “How can anyone have fun at my party, if Chris Brown refuses to mingle?”
Terrence and I had been in a couple movies together and I let a small smile fall on my face, “So that’s why you invited me?”
“Of course,” he said patting my back, “Why else would- holy shit!”
My eyes followed Terrence only to land on a sight that made me really question my sanity.
“I didn’t invite her-” Terrence said with his mouth slightly open, “I mean, I tried, but I couldn’t get in contact-Shit! God be freaking merciful, look at that sigh!”
What was Kaela doing here?
Why was she doing this?
Why?
My eyes didn’t leave her as she walked into the crowd of people who were just as surprised and gaping at her like Terrence was. Nobody had seen her since-since that night. Rumors had spread like wild fire about her. The press had gone crazy about our split and her sudden disappearance.
The couple standing in front of her walked away, revealing her full body. I didn’t even have time to think before my body began reacting to the sight.
Jesus Christ.
Her neckline plunged low enough to show a gracious display of her cleavage, while the slit up her dress teased every person here who had an operating male organ, with a view of her long, golden leg.
“I don’t know who broke up with who, man,” Terrence said patting me on my back, “But I’d grovel if I were you! Julia’s cute and everything, but I remember how happy you and Ms. Goddess Anderson looked. I’ve never seen anything that genuine out here before. It was inspiring.”
He laughed at his own joke before continuing, “I would so do-“
“Shut the fuck up,” I said, walking away from him in her direction as he continued to laugh. I hadn’t seen Kaela in 10 months, and it felt like nothing had changed. I still wanted her as much as I had when she left. I still loved her.
Her scathing words rang through my mind, and my heart’s beating increased as I drew closer to her.
But I didn’t care.
I didn’t care if she thought I was suffocating her. Or if she didn’t love me anymore, because I had no doubt that I could re-instill those feelings in her. I had so many things to ask her, that I never got the opportunity for, the night she left.
I had told myself seeing her wouldn’t change anything, but I had never been more wrong about anything in my fucking life.
Seeing her had changed everything. Every ounce of every emotion I ever felt towards her came barreling back into me doubled.
Doubled.
Out of sight, out of mind, yes. But distance made the heart grow fonder.
Kaela was making a very obvious beeline towards Trey and Moe, and I was determined to stop her before she got there. What did I care if people were staring at the two of us as if we had grown another head? This was between me and her.
Nobody else. I didn’t give a fuck about anyone but her at the moment anyway.
I latched onto her wrist and she turned around startled, only to look even more like a deer caught in head lights when she saw it was me.
“Dance with me.”
“I-I” she stuttered, and the sound of her voice melted all the ice in my heart. She sounded fragile, and scared.
That was good. That meant there was something she was hiding.
For fuck’s sake Kaela!
I placed my hand on her waist and pulled her into the sea of dancers, “It’s only a dance. You owe me that much,” I whispered.
It was very obvious she was having an internal battle with herself, but she didn’t pull away from me. No matter how tense her body was, it still felt perfect to me.
I couldn’t believe that the person who had been haunting my thoughts, and dreams was here. A sudden involuntary flash of hurt settled inside me.
“Why are you here?”
“I-” she started nervously before changing her tactic, “Why shouldn’t I be? It’s in honor of all the nominees, right?”
“You know what I mean,” I growled. “You blew off the Oscars just to show up at the after party?”
“I’m not into that stuffy atmosphere,” she said while blatantly forcing a laugh, “I just came to enjoy myself. Soak up some attention.”
“Bullshit,” I said while holding her closer to me, “You never wanted any attention, and your hands are trembling. Where have you been?”
She looked down at her hand on my shoulder before glancing up at me worriedly, “I have to go,” she muttered trying to pull away from me.
“Answer me,” I said while holding onto her waist tighter. I would be damned if I let her run away from me now.
“It’s not important,” She whispered while anxiously looking from side to side, her eyes looking searchingly around.
Why was she so nervous?
I knew there was something wrong. I wrapped my arms around her body and pulled her flush against me, as she let out a startled cry. We were so close I could feel her pounding heartbeat. Even if Kaela wanted to lie to me, her body never failed to tell me how she really felt.
“Chris,” She whispered, and I had to try my hardest to stop the blood from rushing to my groin. How often had I heard that voice calling my name while I slept, only to wake up alone?
“You know what I think?” I whispered, “Your body misses me.”
Kaela gasped and I felt her body grow even more tense against mine. But that was how I wanted her. The more uncomfortable she was, the easier it was to read her emotions.
“We shouldn’t be-” she started before cutting off, “Julia’s watching us. Everyone’s watching us.”
“I thought you liked the attention?” I repeated. I didn’t want to let her go, I wasn’t going to.
“Christopher, I didn’t come here for this, I really should go.” Another wave of pleasure heading down, hearing my full name flow out of her luscious lips.
“I don’t want you to go,” I said bending towards her ear, “I miss you.”
I had had no intention of saying that. But I couldn’t stop the words from coming out. No one could pull the truth out of me like Kaela could.
I could lie to myself. Not her.
“Don’t say that!” She cried in my ear, as her voice broke, “I thought- What about you and Julia?”
“What about me and Julia?” I frowned sick of everyone assuming things about us. It was sex. Just fucking sex, and if I had half an ounce of a brain I should have probably made that clear to the public. What would they think of me then?
I wasn’t perfect, God knew I wasn’t fucking perfect.
“Kaela,” I said pulling away only enough that I could look into her eyes, “Look at me.”
Her eyes flitted around the party; to the couples dancing beside us, to Trey and Moe staring at her from the bar, to Julia, who I knew had probably been standing behind me glaring at Kaela, ready to kill, but had too much pride to come over and say something, before her eyes settled on me.
And all I thought before lowering my head to meet hers, to compensate for the guilt I was not feeling, was…
I’m not fucking perfect.
Kaela’s POV
I saw the kiss coming before he lowered his head. I saw the look in his eyes, saw the unconscious slide of his tongue to the corner of his mouth he always did. I should’ve run-run far far away to avoid it. But I couldn’t.
My body wouldn’t let me. No matter what my brain told me, my body wouldn’t comply because it cried for Chris. It cried to be near him, to have him in its presence.
My eyes could stare at him all day. My ears were recording his every word, sigh, and growl. My skin tingled even though our clothing separated our bodies and my heart…
That was the worst.
My heart was just about ready to explode in shatters. I could feel it. The longer I was in his presence the closer I felt to breaking down.
But when he lowered his lips to mine, I latched my arms around his neck like there was no tomorrow. For a second I forgot about the world. About everyone at the party including, Trey, Moe and even Julia.
Nobody mattered, because I still loved Chris.
I still loved him so fucking much and I knew I couldn’t say it out loud to him. That would have been too cruel.
This was already too cruel, but I couldn’t stop myself. He devoured my lips in his own and I kissed him back desperately, greedy even. I needed him. God, I really needed him.
Chris was the one to pull away and send me hurling back into the present.
“Let’s go,” he whispered in a husky breath, pulling on my dress.
My heart was beating out of my chest. I wanted nothing more to go, fuck, I had missed him so fucking much.
But I couldn’t.
“Let go of me Chris,” I whispered, while my voice cracked.
“Don’t do this,” he said, “Don’t do this again, Kaela.” No-
“We shouldn’t have- God, I fucking need to go. Now.” I wanted to cry.
“You were lying,” he said fiercely, “When you said you didn’t love me. You’re a fucking liar.”
My eyes widened at his accusation as I quickly pulled away from him and fled. The looks of everyone around me were driving me insane.
Chris was right, I didn’t like the attention. I didn’t like the pressure I felt under their stares. I didn’t want the weight of their judgments sitting on my shoulder.
I saw Trey and Moe push through the crowd following me and all I could think was, I couldn’t have made this any more obvious.
Everyone would know I was staying with Trey. That fucking kiss is going to be all over the papers, and Mr. P was going to have no trouble finding me at all.
I was so stupid for coming here. How could I think I could just stay on the sidelines and watch Chris?
As I stepped outside into the night air I ignored the emotions surging through my body and let my brain think for once.
I had, at the most 72 hours to get out of town unless I wanted to die.
——————————————-
*Wears body-armor*
Okay so not much to say except for the fact writing this chapter was even for me for some strange reason really a thrilling and intense experience, lol.
I love y’all, please don’t hate me, have hope & faith in this beautiful couple :’)
One last question, what do you guys reading my FF like most about this story? In general. I just want to know what exactly about this story has made you like this FF.
And I cry every time I see how many silent readers I have :( Y’all the cause of these sad chapters tbh >___>
So feedback/review <3
Kaela’s POV
The taxi driver sure was going to have a story to tell the press tomorrow morning.
Kaela fucking Anderson bawling like a baby after leaving Brown’s house in the early hours of the morning.
No doubt they would make Chris out to look like some monster, when he wasn’t and could never be!
But I was.
The most ugly and disgusting thing to ever walk the face of the earth. I didn’t deserve someone as perfect as Chris just as he did absolutely nothing to deserve falling in love with someone as fucked up as me. Someone who could tear out his heart with a fucking smile on her face.
I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to die. Better yet I wanted Mr. P to find me and kill me as slowly as he could because I deserved it. The world hated me. I hated me.
And to top it all off Christopher hated me. The only person in the world I cared about so much it hurt. It hurt so fucking much that I wanted to scream my freaking lungs out till they blow.
Cry.
Rip my hair out and break down.
But even more I wanted to run back to him and tell him everything. Tell him the phone calls I got. Tell him about Julia and Mr. P and apologize and cry together.
But I would never do that. I would never risk him dying because of me, just because I felt like I was going to die without him. I would rather I’d die without him…then him die with me.
If it was possible to feel more pain in the pit of my stomach, I felt it at that very moment. I clenched my fists so tightly that I could feel my nails rip into my skin and draw blood. I was dizzy from my tears and could feel my heart beating erratically in my chest. I’ve heard of people feeling sick from heartbreak, but as the further we drove, the more I wanted to vomit.
“Stop!” I yelled, as the taxi pulled to a stop in front of a familiar building.
I shouldn’t have. I fucking knew this was the worst idea that I ever had, but I couldn’t stop myself. I opened the door to the cab and gave him a hundred dollar bill from my pocket before I ran into the building past the door man and straight to the elevator. I thanked god that even despite the fact that he/it hated me, there was no elevator man on duty at this time. I got in and pushed the button for the 8th floor.
I looked as horrible as I felt. My hair was a mess, my mascara and eyeliner streaked my face. My nose was red and my skin was blotchy. Not that any of that mattered. Nothing mattered.
I didn’t even know why I was here.
I should have been gone by now. Out of town. Somewhere far away, not here.
I knew it, and my brain knew it, but my heart didn’t want to be alone. I really needed someone. Anyone, I just- I couldn’t do everything alone!
The tears were pouring down my face while I banged on Trey’s door.
“I’m coming, I’m coming!’ I heard mumbled behind the door, “Do you know what time- Kaela?” He questioned shocked as soon as he opened the door. I didn’t answer as I ran inside his apartment and latched on to him.
“Kaela baby what’s wrong?” He questioned frantically, “What happened?”
I had never thought I could need human contact so much in my life. I didn’t feel any better, but something inside me was relieved that I wasn’t alone.
For now.
“I’m a monster…” I whispered while letting go of him and slumping against the cabinets in his kitchen.
“What are you talking about?” he said closing his door, “Why do you look like this! What did Chris do to you? Are you okay?”
“He didn’t do anything! ” I screamed, I didn’t want anyone thinking Chris did anything wrong. He did nothing, he was perfect! Trey looked down at me worriedly, but he didn’t push it. I knew he wouldn’t.
“I need something to drink.” I stated, “Something really strong.”
“Kaela, I don’t know if that’s a good-“
“Trey, ” I pleaded with tears in my eyes, “Please.”
—
“So I’ve concluded, the world hates me!” I giggled, “Cheers!”
“I don’t hate you princess,” Trey smiled warmly at me.
“That’s because you don’t know anything about me!” I laughed, ” I’m a whore!’
“Don’t call yourself that!” Trey chastised, “Did Chris say that to you?’
“No, no no!” I hiccupped, “But I bet he was thinking it with all the things I said to him. But I’m serious, Trey. I’m a whore. Prostitute! Hooker, streetwalker, whatever you A-listers call it. I fucked guys for money.”
Trey’s face was stunned by my admission. I laughed at how adorable he looked. He had obviously not known he had a crush on a whore!
“Aww, don’t worry. I’ve had my shots. I’m still a freak, and you can hate me too! I’m going to die soon anyway!”
“Die?” Trey screeched taking the bottle of vodka Absolute out of my hands,” what are you talking about?”
“Whoops, did I just say that?” I giggled, “That was a secret. I’m so fucking drunk, but it still hurts! Isn’t this stuff supposed to make you feel better? Must be defect or somethin’?” I said examining the bottle as Trey put it down and grabbed my hands in his.
“Kaela, I don’t care what you think or what you used to do for a living, but you need to tell me what’s going on,” Trey pleaded. I stood up and wobbled, watching Trey jump to his feet after to steady me. I leaned into his body and reveled at how good it felt.
“Have you ever slept with a prostitute, Trey?” I said trailing my fingers up his chest.
“N-no I haven’t.” Trey said stilling and suit tried to pull away from me as I held him tighter.
“Do you want to?” I whispered. Sex always made me feel better. Yes, that was exactly what I needed.
“Kaela you’re no longer a prostitute and you’re drunk,” Trey said firmly, but I could feel his abs contract every time I brushed my hands against them.
I pushed my lips up to meet his, and growled when he didn’t respond to me, “You think I’m disgusting, don’t you?”
“No! Kaela that ain’t the point!”
“It’s okay, you can hate me like everyone else,” I said as tears started welling up.
Trey pushed his lips into mine in response and I almost sighed from relief. He didn’t hate me. Somebody, didn’t hate me.
His hands wrapped themselves around my waist and I rubbed into his erection, reveling in the familiar sensation.
“Baby… Kaela listen,” Trey said in between kisses. “I could never hate you, but you’re drunk. I don’t want to take advantage of you like this.”
“Please, Trey. I need this,” I said as I slipped my hands into his boxers.
10 months later
“Kaela, baby, you can’t stay home on your big day! What if you win?” Trey whined.
“I don’t care,” I said, knowing that I was lying through my teeth. Of course I cared. Nominated for an Oscar, how could I not care! I just couldn’t go. I couldn’t face everyone. The questions, the media, but most of all I didn’t know what would happen if I saw Christopher again.
Especially with Julia. I would never put myself through that. I couldn’t put myself through that! Not to mention, Mr. P obviously hadn’t caught wind to my location and I wasn’t about the alert him that I was right under his nose. I had nothing he could possibly track me with. Nothing registered in my name, even my cell phone was in Trey’s name.
Not that that really mattered, because the only people I called with the phone was; Trey, Moe and Justin.
The apartment building was paid good money to keep the fact that I lived here a secret. I didn’t remember the last time I left. I stayed up on the roof most of the time. Looked out at the world and told myself I should be grateful to be alive, no matter how much it hurt to not be with Chris. I planned on leaving a bunch of times. Flying away to Europe and starting over, but my heart was here. And it wouldn’t let me leave my prison.
A prison with a spa, pool, restaurant, internet, and gym.
But a prison, nonetheless, that wasn’t exactly keeping the world safe from me but instead, me safe from the world.
“Moe!” Trey called through his bedroom door, “Are you ready yet-?”
His voice was cut off as she emerged from their room and planted a kiss on Trey’s lips. I had gotten used to their affection over the months, even though my heart always clenched when I saw it. Not because I felt anything more than a platonic friendship for Trey, but because I missed Chris so much.
And I knew he had moved on with Julia, and that felt like a thousand tiny little needles in my skin every time I thought about it. I had been so angry when I first found out. I had felt betrayed and confused, because out of everyone in the world, I couldn’t imagine why he chose her! After how much he said he loved me, and wanted to build a family with me, he moved onto the same person who threatened me?
But then I realized how stupid I was being. I had thrown everything he ever felt back into his face when I left. I had done this to myself. Chris didn’t know about Julia, she was still his beautiful, amazing friend that was in love with him. Why wouldn’t he go for her?
Julia had known that from the beginning, and I had spent countless nights crying myself to sleep over it. I had learnt to become comfortable in my tears. It’s not because they made me strong or any bullshit like that, but every time I let them out, I didn’t have to worry about my emotions building up inside me until I had an outburst.
“Moe, can you please tell Kaela here that she needs to go collect her Oscar!”
Moe looked between me and Trey, before sighing, “Trey, she’s still getting over everything.”
“Not to mention, there are certain people who I don’t want to catch scent of me, Trey,” I said referring to Mr. P.
“It’s not like I’m asking you to go to grocery store to buy your own milk! It’s the freaking Oscars! Screw the world, this is for you Kaela,” He sighed, “You deserve this at least.”
“Trey, I can’t,” I sighed as he rolled his eyes in frustration, “Moe, if I win, can you go up for me?”
“Of course.” She smiled then joked, “I always wanted my 10 seconds of fame.”
“You can’t hide here forever, Kaela!” Trey said in frustration.
“If that’s how you feel-“I said rising to my feet in sudden anguish.
“Kaela,” he called as I headed for the door, “Kaela, look at me!”
He grabbed my hand, then spun me around, “You know I didn’t mean it like that. You could stay here until you’re gray and withering and you would always be welcome. I’m just worried about you, this isn’t healthy.”
“And what do you suppose I should do, Trey!” I cried out, “Let him kill me, because I want to go collect an Oscar I don’t even know I’m going to get!”
Trey pulled me into his arms before whispering, “I’m sorry. I didn’t think that through, I just-I want you to be happy again.”
It was times like this that I wished I had slept with Trey the night I left Chris. I wondered if my life would be different now.
—————
He hadn’t been kidding when he said he wasn’t small!
Not to mention my body was really enjoying the feeling of his hand against my bare skin. He trailed his kisses down my neck and to my chest while I arched into his mouth moaning.
I had always wondered what Trey would be like in bed. He certainly wasn’t as soft and cuddly as I thought he would be. He was a lot like—Chris.
Images of the earlier part of that night flashed into my mind; one of me laying underneath Chris on the kitchen table.
‘I don’t love you anymore’
He had cried.
I had made the one person in the world who never deserved to a shed a tear, cry.
Because of me.
I looked up at Trey, hit by the onslaught of emotion I had felt earlier with tears in my eye, “I can’t do this,” I whispered starting the water works up again.
“Shh, don’t cry,” Trey said pulling me into him, “It’ okay. It was my fault, I shouldn’t-“
“No,” I cried, “This is my fault! I’m sorry. I’m a monster, I’m sorry, Trey!”
“Kaela, you’re hurt, drunk and confused. I shouldn’t have even tried. Just go to sleep, we’ll talk in the morning.”
“I should leave,” I whispered.
“You’re not going anywhere, so sleep. I won’t do anything, just sleep.” He placed a kiss on my hair, and as horrible as I felt, all the emotions and alcohol caught up to me and I fell asleep.
When I thought about it, maybe things would be different. Maybe our relationship could have worked out. Maybe, I would have been able to fly off with him to some remote country and forget everything ever happened.
Maybe I would have been able to move on with him.
He had convinced me to stay after explaining how I had spilled my guts the night before.
No matter how much I convinced him how dangerous it was, how I didn’t want anyone to get hurt because of me, he wouldn’t let me leave and threatened to tell Chris everything. At that moment I had been so angry but now I couldn’t imagine how I could have survived on my own.
“You guys should go,” I said ushering him over to Moe, and letting go of my thoughts.
My first impression of her at the club had been so wrong. I had liked her, but I hadn’t seen behind the fake lashes, brown highlighted hair and party girl attitude.
She was such a caring and understanding person. She wasn’t my best friend like Monica had been, but more of an older sister figure that understood me. She knew I didn’t see Trey intimately. She wasn’t ever jealous or suspicious of our relationship. Their relationship was filled with so much trust and understanding that I wondered what had been wrong with mine and Chris’?
Then I realized that the answer was me.
It was always me.
“I’ll see you later,” I waved.
—————————
Well…. This is Kaela’s version of the 10 months that have passes after their break-up.
I really really will try to update tomorrow cause I feel like I left you guys hanging on this chap and I know how annoying that can be lol.
I wonder if she’ll be winning the Oscar? What will Chris’ reaction be?
-Review/feedback <33
Chris POV
My mind couldn’t wrap itself around the current train of events. It was as if the moment she left I felt as if the world had stopped spinning for a moment. I hadn’t moved from my place in the kitchen, clenching my fist so tight that my knuckles felt as if they were going to bulge out of their sockets and cut through my skin.
This couldn’t be happening.
The logical part of my mind shut down completely, instead replaced with desperate, irrational thoughts of running after her and chaining her to my bed. It was like losing Ameliah all over again, except worse. Way fucking worse. This had been my chance to do it over, to take care of the person who loved me, to protect her, to love her so completely that she would never even think about doubting me.
But instead of assuring her-I suffocated her…
That was what she had said.
I had fucking suffocated her.
Wasn’t that just great? The cynical humor rose along with the anger and desperation in me. I felt as if there was an empty pit in my stomach that would not go away.
And the void that Kaela had filled after I lost Ameliah was now twice as big. She was suffocating with me and at this very moment in time I felt like I was suffocating without her.
How do I breathe?
I didn’t get nervous, and I didn’t panic. But at the moment I felt my control starting to fade. Images of my dad and his constant verbal abuse of me was running through my mind.
I shouldn’t have felt so desperate over a woman.
It’s my fault.
His voice resounded in my mind growing in volume and intensity and all of a sudden my urge to break something came pummeling into me full force. I growled in frustration as I banged my fist against my granite countertops.
How the fuck could you just stop loving someone?!
How could she just walk away as if I didn’t mean shit to her! I meant fucking something and I knew I do… or did.
She couldn’t just-
“Fuck!” I growled as I pushed the plates on the counter down to the floor. I wanted to hear something break, I needed to hear something break. I continued, throwing glass cups against the counter, knocking food on to the floor-
“What the hell is going on!” a voice screeched behind me.
My head whipped around to see Monica standing in the doorway of the kitchen with a shocked expression on her face. I looked back at the mess, then reflected on my train of thought as the sudden resentment within myself grew.
Except, instead of the anger that I had been holding onto to, desperation and sadness took its place.
“What the hell were you doing?” She asked stepping forward, “Have you lost your damn mind Christopher?”
“She’s gone, Monica.” I whispered as I let the words sink into my mind. The pit in my stomach clenched and I grabbed onto the counter ignoring the shards of glass that stabbed into my fingers.
“Who’s gone?” She asked with a confused face, “What are you talking about?”
“Kaela left, Monica. She left.” I said as I grasped for the chilling numbness I had felt after I came from the hospital that day.
It was eluding me when I needed it most.
“What do you mean, she left? I thought-” Monica started before blurting out,” She wasn’t pregnant?”
I couldn’t even imagine how stupid she thought I was when I asked her. There was no way she could be pregnant.
“No, that would’ve been fucked up.” I couldn’t stop the dripping sarcasm from entering my voice as I rephrased her earlier words. But as soon as I said it, I felt that familiar stabbing in my eyes reminding why she had said that. Kaela didn’t love me anymore.
“Fuck,” I yelled again as the now familiar sensation of liquid escaped from my eye. I turned away from Monica as I had done when we were younger, and realized that no matter what I did she would always know.
“Chris, are you- are you crying?” She said dropping her bags and running over to me.
“Get off of me,” I growled, angry with myself for letting this happen to me again, and even worse for letting Monica see. I was pathetic. This was fucking ridiculous. It wasn’t me, it wasn’t who I was.
“Chris,” she pleaded, “Christopher look at me!”
The voice she used, was one I had automatically come to respond to as I grew up. I turned to face her, and when she enveloped me in her small arms, I felt all my reserves let go.
“She’s gone, Monica,” I whispered, “I don’t know what the fuck I should do.” She followed me as I slumped to the floor, never letting me out of her arms. A lifetime of pent up, frustrated water fell from my face; but I didn’t sob or cry out. I just let it flow while my sister held me. I let all the emotions and feelings I had drain from my body.
There was no going back.
This was it.
—————————-
“Chris I’m getting ready, can you please use the other bathroom!”
I didn’t even look back as I left my bathroom, and continued buttoning up my shirt, stepping over the mountains of debris left here earlier from the Versace assistant who had come to ensure Julia’s dress fit perfectly. I could only imagine the fit she would have thrown if there had been a loose nook. The dress fit her figure as tight as a second skin and was pretty reminiscent of the color too.
But I knew from experience now was not the time for fun. Oh no. If I had even so much as moved her dress an inch from where it was at this very moment I would have to deal with hours of her incessant bitchin’ and whining about how long it took her to get it to look perfect.
“How do I look?” She said, sashaying out of the bathroom door. She looked the same as she always did. Ready to lure men into her bedroom for the night, not that I minded.
She was a good fuck.
I was starting to wonder if that was worth all the work I had to put into keeping her happy tho.
“You look good.” I said, short and simple.
“Only good?” she pouted, “That’s not going to make the front cover of People!”
“I meant wonderful. You always look wonderful,” I said pulling her towards me to lean down for a kiss.
“No no no!” she chastised pulling out of my arms as I sighed,
“You’ll ruin my make up. Donna spent 2 ½ hours of hard work on it.”
“Why don’t you just do your own make up?” She looked as me as if I had just asked her to kill her entire family.
“You’re joking right?” she scoffed.
Kaela always did her own make up.
“You look really good in silk,” I said coming up behind her in the mirror, “So soft, and touchable,” I ran my hand up her leg through the long slit in the dress.
“Chris baby, I have to finish,” she said quietly but in my ears it was the most delicious moan.
“So let me help you sexy,” I suggested while tracing her neck with my lips. I loved the smell of the vanilla body wash she used. It made me want to lick her, and kiss her.
Eat her.
“My make up Chris,” She whined, while she arched back into me, giving me better access to her neck.
“I’ll help you later bae,” I convinced her, sending her into a fit of laughter, before she turned around to kiss me.
“I’ll hold you to that,” She whispered before wrapping her legs up against me-
“Chris, we have to go! I want to be interviewed while my make up is still fresh.”
I snapped out of my thoughts, and cursed myself for letting my mind drift back to past. It had been so long since I let myself think about Kaela.
The stabbing in my chest had long since gone away, but the void I felt was always there; a comfort sometimes, to let me know that I was still alive.
While fucking Julia reminded me that there was still warm blood running through my veins.
I didn’t answer her, I just held my room door open as she stepped out in front of me. We walked down the stairs and through the front door to be greeted by a limo driver who looked oddly familiar.
“Good night, Sir.” He nodded, “Miss.”
I didn’t say anything as Julia stepped into the limo and I followed suit, but his face bothered me and I didn’t know why. I didn’t often get the same driver, since there were so many in LA, but it wasn’t impossible.
My cell phone vibrated and I checked the screen to see it was Johnny. “Chris, I’ve got some great news. Heard from a source, that you and Julia baby are taking it home tonight. 3rd Oscar before the age of 26, how about them apples! Have your speech ready, big boy!”
I listened while Johnny continued on, murmuring my agreeance to what he said, when necessary.
“So, I heard Kaela’s been nominated for Best Supporting Actress.”
The minute those words left his mouth, I chocked on a little particle of dust in the air and began coughing. “She was what?”
“Shocker isn’t it? She’s been off the scene since…yeah. Can’t wait to see her red carpet outfit. I’d fuck her in rags-“
“Johnny,” I growled into the phone. I hadn’t felt so riled up since she left. And to hear Johnny talk about her like that made me want to fu-
“Sorry. I get it. I just thought, since you’re fucking Julia you had gotten over everything. I’ll see you there, make daddy proud!”
Click.
I ran my hand through my hair, a habit I did when I was frustrated and began massaging my temples. I hadn’t seen Kaela for a year. Excluding every television showing, internet article, and magazine cover our split made. I had thought I was going to go crazy.
If it wasn’t for Julia and Monica, I would have gone crazy.
“What’s wrong?” Julia questioned while running her perfectly manicured fingers down my arm.
I wanted nothing more than to throw her down onto the floor and fuck her into oblivion to get my mind off Kaela.
But she would never let me.
She wasn’t like Kaela. She just ain’t her.
Fuck.
I needed to stop thinking about this. I reached for the numbing cool inside of me that had become my closest friend, “Nothing.” I replied non chalantly, while glancing outside of the window.
I felt cold. I felt in control, and I knew that even if I did see her, it wouldn’t matter. Nothing was going to change.
She was gone. She left me.
And so was my heart, but I could live without one if she could.
I smirked to myself.
The limo pulled to a stop, and the door opened to a flood of sounds and flashing lights. I slid my arm around Julia as she waved to all of her adoring fans with a picture perfect smile across her face.
“Mr. Brown, are you aware that your former ex girlfriend, Kaela Anderson is nominated for Best Supportng actress?”
“Have you two still been in contact since your split?”
“Are you and Julia planning on coming out publicly about your relationship?”
I ignored the questions they asked as my eyes unconsciously flitted around in search of the person they kept asking me about.
“Well-” Julia started smiling, before I tugged her away from the paparazzi and onto the red carpet. I knew she wanted to pout, but couldn’t afford to while all the photogrpahers were snapping away. I tried to keep myself focused on the woman I had in my arms, but my mind kept wandering to when Kaela would show up. What she would be wearing? Would she look at me and smile like she did before she left, or would I be able to see the despair in her eyes?
Which did I want to see?
—————————————————
Like you guys didn’t hate me enough for the last chapter…. Yes he’s back with Julia, trying his utmost best to forget about Kaela completely. But I hope you guys enjoyed anyway.
I wonder if she’ll show up? She knows he’ll be attending….
Suspense….
